Camouflaging my fears

t’s easy to view New Years Eve as a blessing; a time to abandon bad habits, begin new mantras and to strive towards becoming a better, more refined person. It’s a time to reflect not only on the prospects for the New Year, but also on the accomplishments of the past. This year, as we crowded around the television to watch the Times Square Ball drop to zero, I had so much to be thankful for and so much to be proud of; yet I couldn’t shake the little nagging voice in my head that announced the coming of my new commitment. That day was the start of my timer, my pendulum, my trickling sands of time: 1 year to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be a professional, full-time wedding photographer…my own personal countdown, and that filled me with fear. In this highly saturated market it is very likely that I’ll camouflage into the background like a chameleon under threat. How easy it would be to hide from my dreams now when the collateral could still be mended. But I won’t just sit back and let that happen. I won’t just blend in and be forgotten. If I’m going to be a chameleon, I’m going to learn to change my colours to stand out. Turn those muted greens into bright, vibrant stripes that erase any doubt of my position in this industry. I will let myself be vulnerable, I will take the hard times as they come, so that when I reflect on my success on December 31st 2015, I can smile, knowing that it was all worth it.